The Hardest Part Was Deciding Which....Two!

Who could eat just one of these? Margie made sure she brought plenty. Once the coffee was made, and the fire was roaring, and the jokes and the stories were getting pretty thick, these treats were like the whipped cream on the cherry on the frosting!  

Our Heartfelt Thanks

We agreed with Valerie that we needed to show our gratitude and appreciation towards the people who went with us to Tulsa. LuWanna and Chris made themselves very useful, quietly and behind the scenes. They never asked for anything for themselves, but were supportive and thoughtful while the rest of us were very worried and sad. The things they did to help us would make too long a list to put here. They were there when most people would have wanted to be very far away from the devastating process of our losing our precious mother and grandmother. We would have hopes, only to be told terrible news we often didn't fully understand, and then there was the long day we knew we were losing her and there was nothing we could do to save her. It was a roller coaster of emotions with our beloved, unconcious, mother at the very center, and for our friends to stick with us through all that so far away from their own support system is just so remarkable. They deserved a very special thanks.

So two weeks ago, Valerie kicked up a huge fire in her backyard, and made it a special occasion by inviting LuWanna and Chris and the rest of the family for a surprise thank you party! It turned out very well as you can see. Our special guests were presented with gifts and many hugs. OH, and did I mention the food? Margie brought a whole wagon of doughnuts, Ken brought his all-time crowd-pleasing lasagne, Val made her heartwarming Fireside Chili, and there were many other goodies and treats. But the best part was the roaring fire, fed by clean pallet wood. Mike brought a mountain of it, precariously balanced on his Jeep, and it not only kept us warm, it burned without noxious smoke or smell. For those of us who were there, it was comforting to be together and I think it helped us all.
 

6 Years of Cuteness and Fun

It was a really beautiful day to celebrate the twin's 6th birthday with family and friends. Brooke and Paige each got a cake, they had some friends their age to play with as well as many cousins, and the Polly Pockets marathon began in their bedroom. Meanwhile, the adults watched Alia play in the little red car, and since Aunt Valerie had never seen the property, Ray took us for a walk. He showed us the places where he planned some spooky Halloween fun, out in the darkening, leaf-crackling, deep woods!
Cindy had made some of her great chili, and there were those ice cream treats to go with the cake. The pinata was painless, since it came apart when the kids all pulled the strings. A day of fun and celebration, and a good get-together. 

Corny Kid

This is Emily, but whose fingers could those be in the background? Hmm....must be some other little ghoul. 

Brian Gaskill arranged to have Bread Of Life open for a memorial service. His friend Terry Hazen, formerly of the Jesus Inn, spoke a few words, and turned the service over to those of us who wanted to get up and say a few words. The words spoken were very moving, and it was so heartwarming to see so many of Mom's good friends there.
The real neat thing is that this facility is a former night club. When you walk inside, you get a lovely church-like feeling, with royal burgundy wall hangings and religious portraits and icons. But on the wall, a cowboy hat made of neon light tubing. A cactus and some longhorns.....and the bar is still there, although it looks more like it is used for food service now. And I am thinking, wow, this is perfect for Mom. She would have approved. She was such a charming combination of naughty and nice!
Brian's office manager and some other ladies had brought us many, many bags of quick-fix foods and I hope I won't embarass anyone by saying they spared no expense. Deli trays of fruit and vegetables, several pounds of sandwich meat that was deli-fresh and, everything else from cookies to chips and cake. Mom's good friend Kim and her husband Sunny were nice enough to bring us a couple of buckets of fried chicken to the hospital, because no one wanted to leave long enough to go to a restaurant. And they also brought cakes and a huge tray of brownies and roasted chicken to the luncheon we had after the memorial service. Someone else had left a loaf of home-made braided bread on the porch for us. Everyone was so kind. It brought tears to my eyes to see how loving Mom's friends were, knowing they were they were her family in Tulsa. Her neighbors David and Cathy and kids always played a role in Mom's life. They were across-the-street neighbors whose visits and kindesses cheered her days.

 

Mom's Bulletin Board

Knowing I might never return to Tulsa, I took a few pictures of the inside of the house Mom lived in and enjoyed for so many years. One of the things I always appreciated about Mom's house is that it was always different. Different furniture, new paint, updated or remodeled, or just plain re-arranged. I mentioned this to Mike and said, "She gets rid of old things when she gets tired of them and gets new things." Mike raised his Senor Mike eyebrow and said in a low voice, "She never got rid of anything. Have you seen the garage?" I laughed. NO, I hadn't seen the garage but I will take Mike's word for it.

This bulletin board in her kitchen stayed the same for a long time. I think you can understand why. 

The Pentwater Five

I remember the day this was taken in Pentwater at Ev and Bea's house. Uncle Bill looked like a professor! The date was October of 1977. 

We were very anxious to get to Tulsa, but our plans came to an abrupt halt when, after dark in downstate Illinois, Jamie's car sprayed a fountain of oil onto Luwanna's windshied so thick she couldn't see. Both cars pulled over into a truck stop that was nearby. Lucky for us! It soon became apparent that the oil drain plug in Jamie's car had been knocked out by some road hazard. A pool of oil quickly formed under her car. A very nice trucker got under her car to try to measure the opening. He tried out a couple parts he found in his truck but they didn't fit. So he recommended she try a truck stop back down the interstate. Jamie and Michael went off in Luwanna's van, but before they left, the trucker asked them if they had the money to buy the part and the oil that would be needed. He would surely have offered it to them if they had said no, and that just amazed me. Later on, he brought Val and Luwanna each a cold drink as they sat waiting under a rain shelter.

Well, there were no places open that night that had the needed part. So we all ended up staying at a hotel that wasn't exactly the Ritz. But the good news is, we all got a night's sleep and the part was found the next day. We went on our way, and Jamie's car was fine until we almost got to Tulsa. It needed some further repair unrelated to the oil drain plug incident. So here I want to shout out some very heartfelt thanks: Luwanna, you provided us a way to go, which was going way above and beyond the call of duty as a friend. Ray and Cindy, you provided me with money so we could spend the night at a hotel, and this I believe got us there safely and in much better shape. We needed that rest for the events that were to come. The trucker, I don't know his name, showed us kindness that I would never have believed from a stranger. I finally told him we were going to see our Mom who was extremely critical. But he acted out of kindness before he knew how desperate our situation was. Van, in Tulsa, called in some chips, and when Jamie's car needed some extensive repair, he supervised two young men in his garage, with Jamie' s car hoisted up, and they got 'r done! There were many kindnesses and many heroes during this time of sadness and stress for our family. But I did want to especially mention these folks because their kindness made such a huge difference in our lives. 

Friends That Are Family

Van and Irene's friendship went a long way toward easing the loneliness Mom felt at being so far away from her family. When they came to visit, they got to see all the people and places Mom loved to talk about in Michigan, and that made Mom so happy. I know they will miss Mom as much as we will, but I hope they take comfort in knowing how much their kindness and friendship meant to Mom, and how much they made her last years in Tulsa happier ones. They said they will come back to visit and when they do, I know Mom will be here in spirit joining in with us. 

Porch Pictures

We had hoped our time in Tulsa would be spent with a mother who was going to recover. When that turned out not to be the case, our days were much more emotionally harrowing. But going home to Mom's house was a comfort. Her spirit of hospitality still reigned supreme. You could almost hear her offering coffee, the best seat, a sandwich, or a lap robe to take the chill off the knees! Mom sure knew how to make you comfortable. These pictures of porch-sittin' show how we would all get-together to visit. The beautiful yellow Mum plant was a gift from Art and Judy Casy, neighbors to Van and Irene, who fondly remembered Mom. Also, Irene brought over a very nice Callalily that we put next to the front door. Margaret sent a colorful bouquet of flowers to Mom in the hospital, too, which we put in the house. 

The Silver Dollar

Mom always wanted us to go to the Silver Dollar in Collinsville when we visited Tulsa. So, we all went in order to honor her wishes that we enjoy this great place she wanted to share with us. It's in one of those old-fashioned downtown buildings you still see in small towns: narrow and deep, with buildings on either side. It is made of red brick aged almost brown, and has one of those decorative embossed metal ceilings. The restaurant isn't fancy, but is sure has atmosphere! The dining area has heavy wooden benches and tables. There is a very large gift-shop area that sports everything from collectibles to whimsicals. Magnets, posters, dishes, lights, knick-knacks, display cases of Indian jewelry and ornate knives, leather items, pottery, paintings, toys, wall-hangings, and here and there, all kinds of fortune-telling arcade machines to let you know if your love life is steamy or sour, or your luck is one star strong or several. I purchased a small, carved, jade elephant as a momento of a place Mom went and enjoyed.
The food was great. Some of us ordered the Patty Melt, which was Mom's favorite, and I could sure see why. The beef was a cut above any burger joint I've been to, and the onion was grilled so flavorfully that I can see how you would get hooked! We also had some Bloomin' Onion, which was also a great favorite of hers, along with the Fried Mushrooms. Those dudes were as big as a child's fist, the biggest I've ever seen. We missed Mom being there, but it was a good feeling to think that she was there in spirit, seeing us at her favorite restaurant, happy we went there in memory of her. And it made me glad to know how much she enjoyed herself when she went there. There were some 17 of us. The ones you don't see in the picture are Brian Gaskill, Michelle, Michael, Irene, Herb and Ada, their daughter, and her two children. Herb and Ada are former neighbors who informally adopted Michelle into their family. You can also see Margaret and her son Alex.
On the way there and on the way back there was a terrific storm on almost all sides of us. Instead of going home, some of us stopped on a hill where you could see Tulsa spread out all around us, and watched the lightning. 

Joanne's Porch Sittin'

One of the things we always loved about going to Tulsa was porch-sittin'. Mom with her coffee, maybe crocheting, I would have McDonald's coffee, and there would always be a neighbor or visitor there. Jim installed a big fan overhead so we could stay refreshed when there was no breeze to catch. There were always plants, candles, and comfortable chairs, with tables to set your drink on. We talked about loved ones, tv shows, ads, traffice, memories, whatever came into our heads. Often a neighbor or passerby would see us sitting and stop by. One of the things I always loved about going to Mom's was just sittin' on that porch, talking it up, enjoying the outdoors, and listening to all the things Mom had to say because usually, we were trying to get caught up on not seeing each other for a long time. Just before I left Tulsa this last time, I took a souvenir from the porch to remind me of Mom. In a bird bath converted to a planter was a little painted glass bird peeping out. When I picked it up to look at it, I saw that it had been broken almost in two, and someone had glued it back together. It made me smile to think of Mom asking Jim to glue it so she could still see it and enjoy it when she sat on the porch. Mom always wanted to share anything she enjoyed, so I know she would like me to have it to put on my porch. 

The Latest

Thanks to everyone who is saying a prayer for Mom and the family. The latest news we had is that she has probably had a mild stroke brought on by low potassium. She is responsive to pain and will squeeze Jim's hand when asked. But she is still unconcious and in critical condition, on a ventilator. The good news is that her heart is beating on its own and her color is good. So we are very hopeful that she may improve. Praise God, because she has been through so much already, and Jim was where he needed to be at just the right time. This will be my last post for a little while so I am sending out my love to the family, the best thing you can do is take care of yourselves and your family right now. I love you all and will miss you! Your support is helping me through this, and I will sure let Mom know how much you have been supportive and that you send your love. You might want to give Fritz a call and leave him an encouraging message. Thanks! I will call with updates as warranted.

New on Mom

The most recent news isn't all bad, but since this is mostly a family blog, I just want to put a few words down about the great sadness and worry that our family is feeling today over some news we got from Tulsa. My mother was found not breathing and had to be resuscitated, her heart stopped several times and had to be re-started, and she was put into intensive care at Tulsa Regional Hospital on life support. When we heard this news our family quickly gathered and made plans to leave as soon as possible to go to Tulsa. At first we were devastated because the news sounded very bleak. But later on, we were told she responded to a question by squeezing her husband's hand, which he asked her to do. So one question was answered: she apparently has some level of consciousness. Then, my brother talked to a person with a medical background. She said patients my mother's age sometimes get so low on potassium their hearts can just stop beating. They find them unresponsive and not breathing, and often a heart attack is assumed. Yet these people can recover when their potassium levels are increased. One of the things they did find out about my mother is that her potassium levels were dangerously low when she was brought in. She had been camping for several days with friends so we are wondering and hoping if maybe she didn't have a heart attack after all, maybe it was her dangerously low potassium level that caused her collapse? Maybe we are grasping at straws here, but Mom is well-known for abandoning her health regimen when her schedules changes, such as when she is camping, and she often forgets or just doesn't take the pills she is supposed to. Because we have all been so upset and distraught over what looked at first like a hopeless crisis, we now have some reason to hope. So I just wanted to pass that on. I will of course update when possible. And thank you for your prayers.

Val and Chris, Guests of Honor...

What a great party! Val and Chris celebrated birthdays, but it turned out to be a celebration of family when Aunt Marie, Jack, Aunt Mabel and Mark came over and spent a good part of the evening with us. The music was a big hit, it went on for many hours. Mike and Val did some of their famous duets, and Val sang like she hasn't sang in ages. The kids got to sing, but not as much as they would have liked since some of the friends needed to get home early. We had walking tacos, which was kind of an experiment to see how they would work with 30 some people, and it worked out well. Paige hit the sack early, all partied out, and all too soon Ray and Cindy had to leave and take the tired kids home. Val and Aunt Mabel and Mike stayed until the last dog was hung. All in all, one for the books. And I would like to thank all who came and reminded Val how much we care and how valuable she is to this family. A special thanks to Jamie without whose Mexican casserole we wouldn't have had as good or as much food! The phone she gave Val for her birthday will insure that Val will be in the same boat as the rest of us....never out of touch! Wish I could write more but I have people waiting on me at the moment. 

The kids really enjoyed being together. One of their favorite things to do? Raid the Halloween costume gallery in the basement! Chantze is wearing a clown costume stuffed with...stuffed fish! The gal in the white-broad-brimmed hat is Stephanie, Grace's new best friend from her new school! She was quite the joiner-in, as you can see. The little girl you can hardly see in the couch picture is Kylie, a friend of Emily's from her former school. It's wonderful to see all these bright and active kids having fun together. Sure makes me feel lucky to have the family we do! 

Remembering Our Friend

September 11 was the birthday of a very dear friend who is gone now. All day there have been many tributes and memorial services for those who died on September 11 from the terrorist attacks. While remembering what our nation went through is very important, I didn't want Ben's birthday to pass unnoticed. Although for many of those who loved him, I'm sure it didn't. I'm sure very few days go by without someone remembering him and missing him. We remember him in our own little ways, by raising a glass when we hear one of his favorite songs, or sending thoughts and words his way when we pass by his resting place off the freeway. Writing this doesn't make me feel any better about him being gone. And this isn't going to be an eulogy to say what a great guy he was. He was a friend to many of us and it is just nice to think of him at times, having fun like the picture where he is wearing a Blues Brothers hat. I am sure he sang "Sweet Home Chicago" that night, I may even have it on tape somewhere....it was fun knowing him and I still miss him being at our get-togethers. I am not even sure how old he would have been, but he probably wouldn't have been any wiser, ha ha! Anyway, I don't have any magic words, just Happy Birthday ya brat, wherever you are.
 

Mouse in the House Without My Spouse

People, I knew that mouse was just waiting for me to be ALONE in the house. It has been sneaking and creeping around. I have been jumping at shadows, and things I think I see in the corner of my eye. But guess what!? TONIGHT I GOT RID OF ONE MOUSE ALL BY MYSELF. It is in the outdoor garbage can inside of three plastic grocery bags, folded inside some of my art cardboard. Long story.

See, I was elbow-deep in proofreading Ray's manuscript so we can get it ready to send to an agent. And Smoochy came trotting proudly into my "office" with something dangling from her jaws. To my utter horror, I saw that it was a mouse! A beady-eyed, pink-tailed, fat-bellied, good-for-nothin, trap savvy little ball of gray fur thats been trying to move me out of my house and home by terrorizing me. Well, the cat dropped the mouse when I screamed (Sorry, Smooch), but this time she let me know where it ran so that I could go get the pinchers. You know, those long things you use when you're in a wheelchair and have to get something down from the cupboard? I used the pinchers to fold the cardboard around the nasty little thing, dropped it into a wastebasket, tied the bag shut with more bags around it, and put it in the dumpster. I figure it can probably get out sooner or later, somehow. Maybe. What else could I do? Shoot it? Cut it with a knife? Drown it in the toilet? Or perform a "Fritz" style execution and drop it down the garbage disposal? NO WAY. But I am proud of Smoochy, she caught the mouse in her jaws and brought it to me so I could do what needed to be done. I gave her three treats and praised her.
Now, I am on the warpath. Not gonna do mouse anymore. The little sons of beeches always seem to end up in my room!

AFTER PICTURE

Well, okay, so it isn't exactly clean clean. You could park a car in there! The worst part is done, now it's just a matter of finding out where to get rid of an old bike and tire and propane tank, more hooks for the extension cords, getting behind the edges where Smoochie attacked some squealing flapping thing yesterday....meanwhile, I have a new project...the basement.... 

News From Brian G.

I am very sorry to tell you that Brian G.'s father passed away 3:00 A.M. Labor Day. I have no other details, and even though Mr. G had dementia and was spared the more difficult end stages, this is still a sad time for Brian and his mother. So please keep them in your thoughts and prayers and if you need his address, or e-mail address, just contact me, we have both. I know he could really use our family support at this time.