Tuesday, December 30, 2008
We went to a restaurant which I won't mention, but those of you who know where I live know it is just down the main drag from McDonald's and has a teepee in front of it. It was raining icy rain and due to the blood thinners I'm on, I was chilled to the bone. Plus my appetite isn't so keen. So when we ordered our food, I decided shrimp would go down easy, although it was a bit of an extravagance, I can only eat like a half dinner at a time so I figured it would be worth it.
Well, the cole slaw came and it was like mayonnaise-saturated mush. Any plant fiber was long gone from the dish, so I kinda shoved it aside and hoped the entree would be better. The shrimp came, and I noticed it was dark brown and the first bite was like way too crunchy. Overdone, tasteless, and overpriced. I tried peeling off the crust but it was still tasteless and not moist at all. So, I told the waitress. They hammered away at me, insisting over and over they would bring me a replacement shrimp dinner. By that time, I just wanted to leave. You know, I wasn't really enjoying myself that much anyway. The fries were not bad, and I filled up on a handful or so.
But I let them try to make it right. So about 15 minutes later, the dish comes back out. And to my absolute astonishment, the shrimp looked EXACTLY the same...and it tasted the same and CRUNCHED the same, too! I looked at Fritz and he looked at me, and we were like "DUH!"
As I said, almost anything that happened that day was much more newsworthy than a bad meal. I just wanted to say, "What the HE>>!? Is this some kind of joke? Am I on Punk'd or Candid Camera, or Boiling Points?" Anyway, I know we have all had these unfortunate experiences. Feel free to tell me yours.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Okay, I did drop Mike on his head when he was a baby. The deal was, I wanted to rock him in a little rocking chair we had, but I wanted the chair to be over by the stove. So I tried to carry Mike while dragging the rocking chair along. I was about 5 or 6 and small for my age. About halfway across the room, I knew I was going to have to drop either Mike or the rocking chair. I distinctively remember pondering which one to drop. Well, I don't remember what series of mental computations resulted in my deciding to drop Mike. But I did.
He cried, of course, and I got in trouble. As you can see from his kindergarten picture, there was permanent damage. Notice the definite jacking of the jaw to the left, and the prominent flap of the ears. Also the shadowy dent in the upper forehead, and the look of a dazed animal in the eyes. Above his head, there is a yellowy-brown stain looking cloud thing that followed him around for years, undoubtedly a result of the depression and persecution complex that is still evident to this day. Also, the buttoned up shirt and suspenders attest to his paranoia about his clothes falling off. He never let me forget it. So here is my official apology: Sorry, Mike! Really! I don't know what I was thinking. Now get over it, okay?