And the Weiner Is:

Thanks to all of you who responded to my Believe It Or Not. Here are the correct answers:

1. True. A lady who owned a motel asked me to do this since she had such a weak stomach. The vomiter was a bachelor renting a room by the week, he got drunk and she discovered the mess when the police came and hauled him off for some petty crime. I needed the money, and also wanted to see if I could do it.

2. I have no birthmarks.

3. I was engaged at 16 to a Viet Nam vet I met up north while staying with my cousin Kay. Everything I wrote was true. He died many years ago.

4. False. I did ride an elephant. Never knew my legs could spread that wide! I'm not kidding.

5. False. My mother did injure a finger once, but I felt bad about it, not repulsed.

6. False. All 4 of you who participated got this one wrong. No, I most certainly did NOT steal a lipstick from my aunt! There isn't a shade made that ever looked good on me and I have always had the sense to not wear it. However, thanks for the vote of confidence!

7. No, I never dropped one of my grandchildren, but it sounded true, didn't it? Ray was right, I would have confessed.

8. False. I never cheat when I play a game. But you knew that, right?

9. True. I needed to buy plates and insurance for my car and after arguing with me, the guy at the desk gave me a chance to "establish credit."

10. Of course its true. Anyone who didn't cry at least once while watching Lassie is probably cold-hearted. That plaintive music wrenched at the heart, too.

And the weiner is! A tie. Technically, Chill got the least amount wrong but he didn't attempt to answer number 2, so to be fair, he got that one wrong and tied with Short and Yoob at 3 wrong each. Trophy, you were a real close second, and since you put my picture on your blog, I am going to give you a 2 point handicap because you haven't known me all my life and declare you the conditional winner. Any complaints about that, take it up with my secretary who is out on sick leave for the next century.

And here is a response to Yoob's list of things I supposedly did that I forgot to mention. And you do know you are tagged, Yoob, so next time, why don't you use that brilliant memory of yours and write a list of things we could believe or not?

Yes, I set the woods on fire, but so did you, so na na na na na.

I never set a brother on fire. If I did it must have been my alter ego whose actions I neither remember nor take responsibility for, because nothing like that ever happened. I do remember a brother who threw lighted matches on me.

The vomit thing...h aha ha! I think that is true. I do remember that. Good one, Yoob.

Yes, I did drop you, and for the umpteenth time, I'M SORRY! Sheesh, get over it.

Gum scraping...for those of you who haven't tried it, be prepared to gag. I learned this from a friend and passed it on to others so they could enjoy gagging, too.

The bleach squirting thing did happen. Only it was a witch's brew of stuff that included bleach. It was called INITIATION. It wasn't just random juvenile delinquincy.

There was no vigorous campaign. I put HHH on the back of my red windbreaker as a protest against the presidential candidates I didn't like. I heard Hube's speeches and they resonated with me. Why, I don't remember now. But I got attention, which was probably the real reason.

The Mason jar burial I don't specifically remember, you may be getting confused with the football game squirting episode. Are you sure it wasn't a cat I buried and dug up years later?

Preemie cats. Yes, but there was no macabre intent, I really was intrigued and felt the phenomena should be documented.

The dummy thing. Well, I had plenty of help on that one! But I guess you could say I was the ringleader.

Binoculars. These gave superpowers to the powerless. Still love 'em!

If you are referring to our brutalizing our downtrodden neighbor children, please be kind enough to admit I later was the one who stuck up for them on the school bus. If you are referring to me picking on you, SORRY!